snip, snip

Well she did it. I knew it was coming, they say every child will do it sometime in their young life, but so far Addie is the first. She cut her hair. No she butchered her hair. Right down to the scalp on the left side.

Yeah it looks awful, yeah I was upset, yeah I totally blew it. I handled the whole situation all wrong. I always thought that I would be one of those cool, calm and collected moms that if my kids totally screwed up. I thought I would stay level headed and not turn into a screaming banshee. But I am not.

I had taken Sadie and Philip to a birthday party and Jose had stayed home with the twins. I was on my way home when I got a text message on my cell saying that Addie had cut her own hair. I immediately dialed home. If you had been in the car with me this is what you would have heard,"What are you taking about Addie cut her own hair? How did she do that? Where did she get scissors? Where were you? Did she cut a lot of hair off? Is it noticeable? Does it look completely stupid? Oh my gosh I can't believe it, oh my gosh!!! Ohhh Nooooo!"

Things only got worse when I actually got home and saw the mess for myself. Not only had she cut her hair down to the scalp on one side, but she had also cut some of Carter's hair and she had cut up her pillow case and she had strewn the hair all over her room. This had taken her some time. So first the ranting was aimed at Addie. "I can't believe you did this naughty naughty naughty. Oh my gosh your hair looks ugly, why would you do that. Bad, bad , bad." I really lost it. I am so ashamed now of how I handled it. I should have just given myself some time. I wish I would have been calmer and told her I wasn't happy that she cut her own hair and that it isn't safe for her to use scissors, but that it was just hair and it would grow back. But I didn't. I totally overreacted. I blew it.

But that isn't all. I then turned my rantings onto my husband although I was a little easier on him, but still going overboard. "Where were you when this happened? Were you not paying any attention to them at all. I mean I know accidents happen but come on this must have taken her half an hour to do and you didn't notice she had scissors. And then you just laugh at it you don't even discipline her. Nice very nice." Of course he didn't take this very well and in turn got mad at me. He said, don't ask him to watch the kids then and where was I when Addie had gotten into the floor cleaner and so on.

Worse thing is, he was right. This incident totally could have happened when I was home and cooking dinner or something. And this really wasn't the most dangerous stunt Addie has pulled lately. It is just the one with longest lasting consequence because her hair grows so slowly. When I admitted it to myself, I was being really shallow. I was upset more than anything because she was not looking so cute anymore. I was embarassed to be seen with this girl with the ugly haircut, and that was what had me so upset. Not because it was unsafe or against the rules. She had gotten herself into many compromising circumstances in recent days. It seems that her goal lately is to test the limits and push the buttons like none of our other kids have done before. I was always pretty patient with her and hadn't completely blown my top like this before. But then again, in prior times of testing she would flash me her sweet little grin and look so cute I softened before I got too mad. At this moment she was not looking so cute.

I had to look at myself when I realized this and re-evaluate the kind of parent I was versus the kind I wanted to be. I'm working a little harder these days on building up my kids self-esteem. I'm also trying to be a bit more patient, a lot more observant, and even more forgiving.

I ook Addie to my sister's house later that day and she gave her a new haircut. Short hairdo that makes her chop job a little less noticeable. It's not real cute, but it doesn't stand out like a sore thumb at least. And at least she looks cute in hats!